Our elders knew need. Many of them lived it daily in the darkness of the Depression and the age of wars. They were industrious, careful and caring. Life was lived as a family, as a community. In the light of prosperity, “wants” were to be earned. Life was lived with the necessities, not flourishes. Cars were transportation. Vacations were rare rewards. Luxuries were just that. Excess was the playground of the wanton few who couldn’t handle success; the players were mocked, reviled and shunned.

How, then, did we get to our present state? First, we need to reach common ground on the current state. Answers these questions.

Does our obsession with SUVs, particularly ultra-SUVs like Hummers and Escalades point to a drive for excess?

Have you been surprised by the newness and quality of cars in high school parking lots? How about all those credit ads? Think people are over-extending?

Ever heard a child (or adult, for that matter) complain because they didn’t get something they “deserved” or were “supposed to get”?

Living the Charmed Life

If these ring true, then you probably believe like me that we live charmed, excessive, entitled lives. If you partially agree, you may be enjoying some of the excesses, but question the motives of others. If you fully disagree, the following may offend you. The above examples are all symptomatic of our Age of Entitlement. I'm not critical of receiving life's rewards, or of people who are financially blessed and enjoy the benefits of their work. I take exception, though, to those who believe they are entitled to those rewards, large and small, but have no basis for deserving them.

A teen who is disappointed with a decent vehicle that runs, feels they should have a new WhateverMobile, is living a life of Entitlement. The college grad who feels cheated in a new job because it's menial or entry-level exemplifies Entitlement.

That pushy airplane traveler with the oversized “carry-on” bag feels entitled to the space, regardless of restrictions or needs of other passengers.

Anybody that has to do something ahead of others feels entitled. Get their table first, cut ahead in line.

Cell phones have bred their own form of entitlement. Users are entitled to interrupt in-person conversations for phone calls. Etiquette at meals and in lines be damned; cell phones trump all other activities. Call originators are entitled to contact from call recipients. Don't think so? Ever had a call at your desk that you miss, then had your cell ring right after? Had a meeting interrupted by repeated calls? Or, worse yet, heard the seemingly ubiquitous chirp of a cell phone during a performance or church?

Driving carries its own line of entitlements. How many drives ride the left lane because other drivers are “too slow”? These folks are entitled to faster transportation because of the faster vehicles they are entitled to. This also manifests itself in both Willie Weaver-esque lane changing and in running to the end of a closed lane demanding insertion at the last possible moment. Other drives believe they are entitled to park in a manner that suits them. They park in fire lanes and crosswalks, on painted areas or curbs.

I could endlessly recount examples of entitled living. I was able to better understand the Age of Entitlement by defining three distinct forms of entitlement.

"I Deserve It"

First, there's the “I Deserve It” form, alternately visible as “I've Earned It”. This form consists of those who have justified their excesses because of some concept that they've specifically worked for them. The Disney Empire has recognized it recently with a campaign to finance vacations to their resorts. Now, you don't have to earn the financial rewards necessary to take your family on a mega-vacation. Tell them to pack their bags and enjoy the trip, then pay on the back end for years to come. It's the same argument people use to justify luxury automobiles, lavish homes and ludicrous clothing they can't afford.

In the millennium-centric tech boom, many college grads suffered deeply from this affliction. Stories of overnight bazillionnaires, meteoric CEOs and unfettered corporate finances led grads to believe that the receipt of their sheepskin entitled them to lofty corporate positions and requisite stature. This went well beyond aspirations – the healthy form of this malady – to insistence during interviews. “My goal is to have my own company in three to five years. And, oh yeah, I want a whole bunch of money now.”

Critics of this lifestyle believe in pay-for-performance, climbing the ladder of success and earning your own way. Criticizing this type of behavior requires being judgemental. How can we truly know if others are deserving or not?

"Because I Can"

The “Ability Entitlement” comes round when a person has access to the tools of entitlement. The Internet makes a great deal of information available to the masses. And, this information grows some entitlement to superiority. I watched an air traveler who had instant access to flight info dress down a flight attendant because she couldn't match the information he had. The availability of such information creates an air of entitlement for similar information. “Because I can best the air crew with my wireless access to information, shouldn't I get instant information on restaurant wait times, shortcuts on roads and preference on activities.”

This Because-I-Can attitude is evident in the SUV market. The low cost of SUVs meant people could own bigger vehicles than may be necessary for daily use. Low-cost electronics have enabled the Because-I-Can grab for iPods and laptops.

It's the proliferation of cell phones, though, that drives it home. “Because-I-Can have a phone with me anywhere, I can talk to anyone, anywhere at any volume.” Manners, decorum, even discretion have been excused from the room so yakkers can drone on with unseen companions. The one-sided telephone call that was the staple of Bob Newhart's comedy is now routine. Maybe we just need to view Newhart as brilliantly prescient. Unfortunately, most cell conversations have nowhere near the brilliance of Newhart.

"Because Others Do"

Finally, there’s “the Copy Cat Entitlement”. This is one step beyond “keeping up with the Joneses”. This is Jones Lockstep. Our overwhelming desire to be like others drives us to require the things they have, do the things they do and go the places they go. And luxury providers feed off this this. Entry-level Benzes, smaller Hummers, cruises, designer labels, wannabe designer labels are not created for the Well-To-Do. They are fabricated for the Not-Quite-Theres, the Mimics, the Emulators.

The problem is that it creates an incomplete package. Just like photocopies, art forgeries or counterfeit bills, the copy is never as good as original. Parts of the copy may be very good, but other parts are missing or incomplete or wrong. So, too, with the Copy Cats. They’ve focused their entitlement to one facet of their life – a Louis Vuitton bag, an outrageous house, a perfect resort vacation – without regard for the rest of their lives. They may travel to the best places, but they have a shambles of a marriage. The kids may get nice cars, but those same kids have no responsibility.

Desires, dreams and hopes are good. The drive, determination and motivation to achieve, in the right balance, make us stronger. Those who achieve their goals through hard work should be applauded. But those aren’t the folks I’m talking about here. My focus is on the people who have corrupted those hopes, dreams and desires to an unhealthy level. They are the ones who have moved us away from the Haves and Have-Nots, to Haves and Must-Haves.

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